The ‘Metro-sexual’ Delhiwallah

Since the Delhi Metro’s Blue Line from Dwarka to Barakhamba Road became operational, I had been taking that for work in East Delhi. This way, I ride all the three lines – Blue, Yellow and Red twice every day, on my way to work and back. Six trains in all and six hundred reasons to stay interested throughout the trips to and fro.

Yesterday however, I was offloaded in Subhas Nagar as reported in India Daily on my way to work due to some snag in the electric lines along with quite a few trainloads of passengers that really ran into the thousands. Later on, the morning papers today reported that a bird who decided to jettison droppings on some electrical device caused the snag. What caught my eye wasn’t what was being reported in the post, but the line – “I can’t even do my normal bird-watching, if you get my drift” in the text message sent by the blogger to his workplace. Mate, I got the drift, I got the drift! So you see, you can’t blame me for the only one with a roving pair of eyes. We must be in good numbers out there, we sure are!

I must admit that though I am the ‘Chosen One’ by the guy upstairs himself, I am not above having any fetishes. I have feet and long hair fetish. If I happen to notice a girl from a distance with great hair, I try to get close so that I can have a look at her feet. A well-maintained hair and well-pedicured feet on lacy footwear exposing the beautiful toes is my biggest turn-on actually. However, any footwear showing the maximum of a beautiful foot is also a great turn-on and if the girl is wearing an ankle (and calf) exposing lower clothing like a skirt, shorts or capris, then there is nothing like it. It would have already made my day. Feet with long toenails look ugly, unhygienic and most of the times grotesque as well. No matter how well polished/coloured they are, it looks gross.

Winters are not very good time for the likes of me as most of the lower limbs tend to be covered, legs, ankles, feet. It sucks to see a female in sports shoes and round snub-faced boots. Gosh! How could they wear them? It sucks even more when they wear socks in their floaters. That’s the biggest turn-off really. If you belong to my club, you would understand what I mean to say and agree, won’t ya?

My fetish for hair is a big complex one. I simply dig for long hair, but then any well-done hair – be it shoulder-length or chic, a neat ponytail or let-loose curly – attracts me. But then, I have a condition, the hair shouldn’t cover the sides of the face so that profile of the face isn’t visible. Women who think that they look very good, smart or sexy may put to rest their thoughts on this. I come across countless such females who are ‘hair-all-over’ without a visible face and no one has the time to overtake and then turn around to see her face. If it is not visible from at least a side angle, it simply isn’t worth seeing.

Like the beautiful-good footwear-ankle/calf exposing lower dress combo, the hair-ears with nice rings combo is the most attractive here. So if you are one such female and reading this, you know what to do next time, right? Make sure that the side strands of your hair are tucked behind your ears so that your face is visible next time you decide to take a public transport, especially the Delhi Metro; I might just be watching you.

In the last Winter (it’s Spring now if it escaped your notice), I found myself deprived of the pleasure of seeing beautiful feet to my heart’s content. So, to make up, subconsciously though, I developed this ‘adventurous habit’ of trying to touch the tresses of the pretty birds with a sudden ‘accidental’ brush with hand in the overcrowded morning trains, especially during boarding and alighting.

Will tell you a secret; the best chance to brush your hand with the gorgeous tresses of a female comes when you are traveling in a bus and seated behind one such endowed pretty thing. All you need to do is hold the top of the seat above the seat before you, right behind the head of the girl and she will oblige you herself. You don’t need to do anything and no one can blame you of eve teasing for it is fully justified to hold on to something when you are having a really bumpy ride! (You are most welcome!)

Au revoir folks. The Guru will be back again with his stories, thoughts and jnan sooner than you may expect.