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Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Yummy Chinese bestial fellatio

The Chinese are amazing human beings. They are different from the rest of the human race in ways more than just a few. From perverse practices like feet binding in the ancient times (that left entire generations of females crippled) to finding delicacies in leopard placenta, the Chinese find orgasmic pleasure in things that people from other civilizations might find weird, repulsive, and insane as well.

Chinese food has always captured the world’s fascination. Chinese are prolific cooks and what’s more, they can cook things that you wouldn’t like to even look at.

A few months back I read a Jug Suraiya food article where he discussed weird food like elephant trunk that he had in Nagaland. There he writes about how feudal Chinese had some of the weirdest dishes on their menu like a worm that grows in the cesspit of human excreta for a year that turns into the hors d'oeuvre for the guest of honour! Despite being a foodie myself who has a penchant to try out the most fanciful of non-vegetarian dishes, I found that quite ‘extraordinary’ indeed.

This gives credence to the adage that when it comes to having an appetite for food, the Chinese would perhaps not eat airplanes and helicopters in flying things and the furniture in four-legged objects. Everything else is edible for them.

Ox penis in a Chinese restaurant: Not only a delicacy, but a potency medicine too!Today, I bumped into this article in BBC News. It is about the dishes made out of the penises of various animals – from dogs to snakes, bulls to tigers and everything in between.

Not only there is a delicacy factor behind eating them, the Chinese believe that eating penises would increase virility! Well, Chinese placebos promising virility include crushed tiger bones, snake blood, bat pickles etc, etc.

Maybe, the Chinese are more sex-tensed and sex-obsessed than any other population on earth. If you promise them that drinking a chimp’s diarrheic shit will make the males last longer and applying it on the faces will keep the skins of females youthful, they would not think twice before going ahead with the experimentation.

A few will set up biz by buying a few chimps, sicken them and make them excrete and sell the stuff in bottles labeled –

Premium Chimpanzee Excrement for Youth and Virility. Satisfaction Guaranteed 100%.

3 Comments:

Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

...feudal Chinese had some of the weirdest dishes on their menu like a worm that grows in the cesspit of human excreta for a year that turns into the hors d'oeuvre for the guest of honour! Despite being a foodie myself who has a penchant to try out the most fanciful of non-vegetarian dishes, I found that quite ‘extraordinary’ indeed.

I'm hoping "extraordinary" is a euphemism for something more colorful!!

1:17 PM  
Blogger Beau Peep said...

Nugget Maven:

You bet! ;-)

9:34 PM  
Blogger hedonistic hobo said...

the chinese (and if u lived with 5 of them in your flat you're allowed to call them chingpongs) are obsessed with virility. my gymming buddies, the men who had to share the showers with them confirm why this is, apparently the rumours are all true. the chingpongs don't have penises, they have floss sticks. somehow they think eating penises or crushed tiger bones might make their lil joysticks more potent coz there is no way to make them longer.
it is the reason why chinese borders have historically been the hardest to penetrate (oh...i'm killing myself with the puns), it has been so to prevent the women from going out and seeing what's out there. happiness.

5:14 AM  

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