Last and final chance, BCCI must take the gamble NOW!

It would be too far fetched if we expect the BCCI to think of what is really good for Indian cricket. No, BCCI is not Cricket Australia who can think out of the box and go to any level to make sure that its team ends up on the winning side each and every time.

To say BCCI is only interested to fill its coffers would be an understatement. Actually, a much-divided body across regional and political lines, the main concern of the BCCI honchos is how to win the next board elections.

I was reading Arnab (Great Bong) Ray’s article Just Sourav and could not help but agree with him completely. In fact, my support for Saurav now is based on the same reasons Arnab cited for his. During my student days when Saurav was blazing centuries after centuries in ODIs averaging over 45, I supported Sachin Tendulkar despite the fact that it meant high-decibel fights with my father who is a blind Saurav supporter. I still am a great, great fan of Tendulkar despite the fact he is a Marathi and would still support him over Saurav whose main destroyers had been Marathis.

I will not mince words here today. I have now started believing that the Marathis are the worst culprits in dividing the cricketing nation on regional lines followed by non-Bengali Sachin supporters. They simply could not digest the fact that their beloved son – the great Tendulkar proved to be a miserable failure when it came to leading the team. Five consecutive Test drubbings – three in Oz and two on home turf (that incidentally was India’s first series loss on home ground since Pak beat them in 1986-87) meant that he was a meek guy whom the team did not have any fear of, his batting capabilities notwithstanding.

Under the shadow of the match fixing scam, the relatively inexperienced Saurav Ganguly made a great turnaround in Team India’s fortunes. We all know his contribution to the resurgence of the Indian team. The Ganguly-baiters just could not digest his success. By then Sachin’s future as captain had evaporated and the baiter needed another guy to fight Ganguly with. Rahul Dravid, whom Ganguly gave a second life by making him the wicket keeper of the ODI side, was the perfect boy for them to do the trick. Rahul Dravid, despite his role as batsman-keeper for over a hundred matches was still cribbing about being the wicket keeper. Ganguly would have none of it; and didn’t Rahul flourish during that time?

Unfortunately, for Ganguly, two Marathis took office in the BCCI who could spell his doom. The chairman of the selection committee Kiran More was the first to make the move. Though one might argue that Ganguly lost his place during the Dalmiya reign, it was not supposed to be a permanent removal. Then the Dalmiya faction lost the elections and another Marathi – the spineless Sharad Pawar became the president. Ganguly’s fate was sealed. He simply won’t give up his Aussie-worshipping rituals even though the Aussie in question is a saboteur.

Then the blogosphere was suddenly abuzz with pro and anti Ganguly articles, analysis and rants. That was the time when I lost all respects for another Marathi because of first his pedestrian analysis, and then when his regionalist mask fell off, which left me with no other alternative but to react in my own way.

Ten matches to go before India plays in the ICC World Cup 2007 and what are we seeing now? Team India, led by a pliant and meek puppet captain and run by a saboteur, is viciously trapped in the quagmire of defeatism.

The only mantra to get it out of this load of total mental wreck is to bring back Saurav Ganguly in, kick the saboteur out and instead appoint a manager. We don’t need a coach now, it is already too late in the day for that. Ganguly in the recent Ranji match has shown what a helluva good captain he is. Give him the control again and trust me, he will spank the despondent team back to what they were under him – a bunch of fighters.

Precious little time remains, the BCCI must take the gamble. Not to stoke some Bengali or commie ego, but for the good of Team India.

Great Bong is a genius…

Great Bong a.k.a. Arnab is a genius if you did not know it already. He has an original masterpiece (which is being copied all over) on the state of Indian cricket now. You cannot simply afford to miss it. Click here and find out why I admire this man so much.

SOS ignored, idiots heeded, Team India’s kismet sealed

A few days back I wrote a post calling for an SOS to save Team India. Some morons like this bloke couldn’t see that like them, I too am a die-hard fan of Indian cricket and have my heart in the right place when it comes to loving and supporting my team. I had suggested a few things that many rebuked in the blogosphere.

The point here is that most of those who criticized me were actually Dravid worshippers (no harm in that though) and place his interests above the team itself. They would accept anything to see that Dravid remained as the captain even if it meant that a saboteur is at the helm of affairs in the team’s on field and strategy decision-making.

They have miserably failed to see two things:

a) India is going from bad to worse under the Chappell-Dravid duo. Dravid, the good soul he is, may still believe that the team’s performance can improve and India can put up a good show in the coming World Cup. However, Chappell, being the saboteur knows very well that he is doing his covertly assigned job wonderfully well. He had to save the aging Aussie side from the only threat they possibly face – India. Reason? Ganguly led a young team to the finals beating everyone except Australia into the finals of the previous edition of the WC, gave the Aussies a good spanking in the Test series Down Under two years back.

b) Burdened with captaincy, Dravid’s own stats are taking a beating. The fantastic numbers are becoming mediocre in comparison with others like Ricky Ponting or Mohammad Yousuf. Now Ricky Ponting is the best batsman in the world and has gone way too far ahead from Dravid for him to catch up him in his career. Md. Yousuf has left him behind as well.There are just eleven matches to go before the ICC World Cup 2007 starts. Team India can NEVER make a turnaround from this. It is not only playing the worst cricket in several years just in the nick of time, but also the players are totally psyched out. They have developed a loser’s mentality and there cannot be any expectations from this bunch. In any case, it is just too late now. TOO LATE in the day either to sack the coach, change captains or select and groom a new bunch.

Team India will fare miserably in the ICC World Cup 2007. There is no doubt whatsoever in my mind that after the hiding they would get in the Caribbeans it would take another four years to exorcise the ghost of the experience.

This post will be testimonial to the statement I made today regarding the ICC World Cup 2007 in the West Indies. It would be interesting to see how the Chappell-Dravid foot-worshippers like this fella has to say then.

India vs. South Africa: Old whine in new series

Given the state of affairs in Indian cricket, the result of the first ODI between India and South Africa at Durban yesterday came as a (pleasant) SHOCKER! I couldn't help but wonder how the Indians managed to get so many runs!! I was betting upon an under-fifty score. The hell with Harsha Bhogle and Sunil Gavaskar who termed the defeat as ‘annihilation’ and ‘capitulation’ respectively. They are obviously missing the woods for the trees.

Greg Chappell and his poodle Rahul Dravid are doing a great job. Fantastic! You can now safely bet that they would cross the magical figure of 100 runs in the coming matches. If they played out of their skins then 150 runs can be a possibility.

Come on India, do it for your adoring billion and some.

Coming for peace

The Desi Devil pointed me towards the Global Orgasm Day event. I am all for it for the sake of world peace. We have always heard/seen the line – Make Love Not War – all our lives. This is the time to do something. The event takes place on Friday, December 22, 2006.

Let me know if you are interested with your name, location and sex for synchronized orgasm. There will be special mention about you all in this blog.

Details of the event.

Britney Spears-Kevin Federline raunchy honeymoon sex video free download

The bombshell of the year is out. Click here to download the Britney Spears and Kevin Federline assortment of four different footages of their honeymoon sex videos combined in one 83-minute video absolutely free in high quality MPEG format. Don’t spend your money on DVDs available now. I am also sharing the video through eMule and BitTorrent. So if you use any of these p2p clients, connect to KevBrit. Show your support to Britney by downloading the video free so that Kevin doesn’t benefit from its immoral sale.

Well, this is apparently a hoax. I am just trying to see how much this post plays on various search engines, and the traffic it pulls on this blog. I will publish the results on Monday.

All apologies for the dampener. I hope you shall be kind enough to understand the eccentricities of the Guru. As compensation, I am linking the Google search for the keywords – Britney Spears Kevin Federline Honeymoon Sex Video Download.

Hope your search would end there. However, if you reach back here again please see a psychiatrist.

Jai Kali, Bayer wali!

I spotted this ad here. Needless to say, we are soon going to hear from the sentinels of Hinduism like this guy. After Ganesha trying his hand selling beer in the West, Maa Kali seems to be trying her hand in product endorsement too – selling mosquito repellant.

Well, with increasing number people having little or no time for religion, and religious offerings spiraling downwards, I reckon the gods are finding it very difficult to sustain themselves.

I wonder if Bayer would like to make a good donation to the Kalighat temple in Kolkata. After all, Bayer has chosen the resident goddess of the famed temple to endorse their product. The Kalighat temple trust should demand a bagful of Euros for this. That should take care of the potential controversies that might arise in the near future over this.

Talking about artistic creativity in the ad world, how about a coming up with a sex toy product labeled as Virgin Mary chastity belts, or launching an airlines service called Jesus Airlines whose ad campaign would show Jesus’ crucified stretched hands transforming into wings enabling him to fly away free?

What do you say?

The week that was: New mobile, cricket, glamour, festival, dead body and bandh

The Guru witnessed a few things last week. I started the week coming to work with a spanking new mobile - an N93 (the pearl black one). Since then, it has become highly embarrassing to attend calls in public places because I don't want others to see me amongst those who flaunt their high-end mobile handsets or look for every excuse to take them out while traveling in the Delhi Metro or in happening places such as malls, shopping arcades, theatres etc. I bought it purely due to its utility factor especially the Internet applications.

Australia won the Champion's Trophy as expected. The saboteur Greg Chappell did excellently well to keep the Indian team out of the semi-finals. How prophetic my post was on this. West Indies meanwhile can kick themselves for fizzing out in the manner they did in the finals. We heard the same old whine from Brian Lara.

Meanwhile the saboteur was spotted in a glamour event in Mumbai. God knows how we can tolerate such things. Oh! Sorry, I forgot that we were a population without spines. Ponting and his team of champions shoved Sharad Pawar, the minister and BBCI chief away from the dais while posing for the photographers. Well, Sharad didn't take offence, neither did I. He had no business to be there. Of course, the media attempted everything possible to sensationalize it. On second thoughts, the character Pawar is, we can well expect him to behave the way he did in front of the 'members of superior race'. You see, we are inherently pliant and have slave-mentality. Thank you Ricky Ponting for reminding us that. Also, some 'dashing cricketers' walked the ramp to endorse a product. Maybe they got the clue from their divine coach on where cricketers in India exactly ought to be in.

Guru Parv was superb. I live in a Khalsa colony and it was a great experience to be amongst them during the festival. I was spoilt like anything by my Sikh landlord and his family.

Then I saw the town derelict, whom I got so used to seeing every morning near Welcome station eating bhujiya, lying dead on the pavement. His face was covered and flies were swarming all over the body. I just couldn't take my eyes off him and help wondering the value of life. Despite having an N93, it didn't occur to me that I could take a short video and post it on the web. I was too shaken and deep inside, I was ashamed beyond words. Today I saw the same spot again and though the body wasn't there, the source who placed the bhujiya for him every morning did place it there as before. This time I managed to click a picture and will publish it here soon.

Then the bandh called by the traders. Ah... the least said, the better.

Au revoir.

Hey Ram! Indian media proves itself to be not only shameless but oxymoron too

The hot news that the great lawyer Ram Jethmalani is going to defend Jessica Lall murder accused Manu Sharma is creating a few ripples in several rungs of the society fuelled by some shameless mainstream media sensationalism. The media is acting as if being struck by a bolt from the heavens on the news. Of course, they have reasons to shed a few tears because it was the media that kept the Jessica Lall issue alive and made the public take cognizance to the outrageous acquittal of all the accused following key witnesses turning hostile.

Now, the media that was slapping their backs when Santosh Singh was eventually convicted and sentenced to death finds itself in some discomfort as a lawyer non other than Jethmalani is standing against another of the 'causes' they picked up for 'public awakening'. Chances are, that with such an accomplished lawyer like Jethmalani defending Manu Sharma against whom the case is not as strong as that was against Santosh Singh, Manu Sharma would be acquitted again.

TV channels and news websites are taking polls via SMS and online polls. While online polls are non-commercial, conducting SMS polls on a sensationalized subject like this often brings in windfalls for the TV channels and phone networks. So, even if the media might lose their 'cause' in the face of Jethmalani jumping in the fray to defend the murder accused, they stand to earn millions that would compensate them manifolds.

The way the Indian media is behaving is making it look like oxymoron. A few days back they were saying that since Md. Afzal did not get access to good and quality lawyers he got the noose while the other co-accused of the Parliament attack case walked free. Now, irony of all ironies, the same media is crying at the top of its voice on why a lawyer like Ram Jethmalani would jump in to defend the alleged murderer of the model.

My opinion here is that the best resources should be available for Manu Sharma. After all, he is defending his life in such a high-profile murder case. If the court finds him guilty beyond all reasonable doubts notwithstanding Ram Jethmalani, other high quality resources and money, then that would give the best satisfaction to the people, and the media of course who picked up the Jessica Lall murder case so vehemently. Also, there are no rights and wrongs here. It is the right of the accused to defend himself in the best possible way and shameless campaigning against this very fundamental human right is despicable to say the least.

Shame on all the TV channels soliciting polls through text messages and behaving the way it is now. Also, the public who are against Shree Jethmalani's decision to defend Manu Sharma may take a hike. They are not going to get a kangaroo court set up for the retrial of the case.

We all want Jessica Lall murderer to be punished. However, three cheers to Ram Jethmalani.

Disgusting: We didn't know until now!

There is quite a buzz going around in the Indian blogosphere about reporting of the gruesome rape and murder of a 17-year-old girl Priyanka Bhotmange, her mother Surekha and two brothers by an upper cast mob in Khairlanji, near Nagpur in Gaurav Sabnis' own state Maharashtra.

Shivam Vij had published a few photographs of the dead bodies of the victims that showed their mortal state in horrific detail. This has led Gaurav Sabnis to come up with some moral policing that he often does.

He has to say the following about Shivam Vij;

So it is unfortunate to see that one blogger - Shivam Vij, who could not have fallen from my estimation further than he actually has, has followed the same Aajtakian mindset. Under the garb of reporting the suffering of Dalits and proving his "enlightened credentials", he has plastered pictures of naked and half-naked blood-splattered dead-bodies on his blog. I wonder if he considers this Faustian decision of his to rob the dead of their last shred of destiny, a price worth paying for increased attention, more hits, and maybe a few more writing assignments.

'Aajtakian mindset' is very welcome. Aaj Tak has brought in some fresh air in the monochromic world of news channels, and if it had to take the help of some melodrama, it is ok. This is despite the fact that I still believe that Aaj Tak thrives on yellow journalism. Gaurav Sabnises of the world might play the suave urbane character and talk about Goethe's Faust or Lenovo laptops, but they can never resist the temptation of checking out on 'Aajtakian mindsets' whether it is the Aaj Tak channel itself or Shivam Vij's blog. However, they would never ever admit it just as most Indian females would never admit to masturbating.

Oh, one more thing that I noticed about Gaurav is that he is very finicky about linking posts! He does not allow comments either. That goes on to show what an insufferable snob he is. I guess he has to learn something from my great mate, Chartreuse a.k.a King Campbell.

During the US invasion in Iraq in Gulf War v2.0 (now Gulf War v3.0 beta is going on), Al Jazeera showed pictures of mutilated bodies of civilians including children killed in US air raids that the Western media never ever dared to. BBC went on to acknowledge the fact that the pictures were too graphic and gruesome to be broadcasted and that the fact that Al Jazeera by doing it was making the Arab world boil with anger.

A picture tells you a thousand more stories than a flowery post with a thousand words. The truth must be presented as it is, and if a shocking incident like the Khairlanji massacre takes place then the society should know how shocking it was. The greatest respect for the deceased who had been paraded naked, raped and murdered would be to show the world what the victims were made to undergo so that the collective conscience of the society is awakened and the perpetrators of the crime is brought to justice.

We all read news about women being branded as witches in rural India, beaten, paraded naked, most often raped, made to eat human excreta and often killed. If you saw a video ever, you would know how horrific the practice is. Just reading the story in a newspaper might stir your soul a bit for sometime, but by the evening, it would escape your thoughts. I have seen a couple of such videos shot in Nepal and I know how it felt and still feels.

Gaurav Sabnises of the world can go and flog themselves.

Also read Shivam Vij's post on his motives.

Image credits: Atrocity News and Shivam Vij