Blank Noise Project: A cry over missing fucks

I noticed this ages back when some bitches were making noises about the Blank Noise Project in the blogosphere. I thought it was some kind of a fucky-leaky idea by some freaked out sluts who weren’t getting enough cocks. Forget the cocks, they seemed deprived of even the stares or passes, which in my opinion is very normal.

Unlike most other animals, we are on heat all the seasons. So it is quite natural for men (and of course women too) too seek sex or play the ‘attracting game’.

Some females are so fucking delusional about themselves that they start believing having a cunt is perhaps winning the biggest jackpot in this universe. The point is, the vagina is there for a purpose and nine hundred a ninety nine times out of a thousand a girl doesn’t want flowers. She just wants to get laid. Nothing wrong with that either, rather, it is absolutely in line with normal human behaviour.

If the so-called teasing is without any violence then I am all for it. Physical assault and stalking are two things I would never ever approve. Why?

a) You do not have any right to harm/hurt/violate another human being physically.
b) Stalking is symptomatic of psycho-criminal behaviour. It is proved, so no arguments here. PERIOD.

The self-proclaimed moralists should know that if I have a pair of eyes to see and you a pair of boobs to show, it is my birthright to have a closer look what is being displayed in full public. If you wear short skirts, there is no harm in making an extra effort to take a peek what’s under it. No, I won’t lift the skirt up to see. However, if she is taking the elevator and I am below her, I shall move my head to see what colour panty she is wearing.

Similarly, it is my birthright to start a conversation with any female whom I fancy upon whether it is in a private party or in a public place if there is an opportunity to do so. However, I shall in no way feel free to pester anyone from entering into a conversation with me. The female has all the rights to continue or politely refuse to go into a chat with me.

The brains behind the Blank Noise Project attention deprived cunts doing whatever they can to show how desirable they are and how dangerously they live every moment outside their homes. In the process, they are managing to grab some eyeballs.

The pictures of the gals in the blog reminded me of my ex-girlfriend. She used to look just like one of them, very common, very normal. She belonged to an ultra-conservative Marwari family. That didn’t reflect in her contemporary dressing though. She always used to be in western and casuals – the way the modern girl should be dressing.

I have immense respect for the girl. She was all innocent and never-been-kissed. She was the first girl I seriously fell in love with. I still love her more than anything else and wish that she comes back in my life. Wishful thinking, I know it is history now. Anyway, I am not discussing my love life here. The story is that it didn’t take me long to deflower her and we become great lovers for a long, long time till it abruptly ended without any reason last year.

What I learnt during my relationship with her is that girls who have a serious inferiority complex only think about sex as a taboo. It is only those girls who make issues out of non-issues like the females in the Blank Noise Project are making. Else, no matter whatever masks they wear of being innocent and sensitive to stares, remarks etc, deep inside they enjoy it. After all, why not? Getting a comment from the opposite sex is always ego boosting; great for the self-esteem. If you are a girl and get a comment on your boobs being highly gropable, you must know that your boobs are capable of turning a man on.

The bottom line is that given half a chance, a sexually developed female would easily agree to jump into the sack – family backgrounds, religious beliefs and social bindings notwithstanding. Of course, if she is a frigid and don’t get wet on stimulation then she would hit the streets crying eve-teasing.

If you are a guy and don't believe me then take a gal in your bedroom when no one is around to disturb you for a couple of hours and offer her flowers or a fuck, she will go for the fuck, or at least the suck.

Why? A good fuck gives you a great orgasm and a great orgasm is always better than flowers.

And a dick is always better than doing this to yourself, right gals? Next time get your friendly eve teaser to do this to you. He will go out of his way to find a nice place where you can do it. And, he will make you a very happy gal.

Don’t believe me still? Just try it. The Guru speaks the truth.

India should not execute Md. Afzal

There is no denying that I am anti-death penalty. No matter however hideous the crime is, putting a human to death is nothing short of bestial retribution. There is no place for death penalty in India; none whatsoever.

If India doesn’t spare the life of Md. Afzal for conspiring the attack on Indian Parliament that resulted in the deaths of many, it will most definitely prove what people like me think of India, which is a nation of sadists and cowards. Hanging Md. Afzal will not send any deterring message to the terrorists. Rather, it will only confirm that we are some way to go before we can call ourselves civilized.

I opposed the death sentence of the two sisters Renuka and Seema Gavit even though they have carried out the most hideous of crimes conceivable.

Only the fuckminds, perverts and the sick can see executions happening in their countries and tolerating it, be it in India or Saudi Arabia. At least Indians have a voice through democracy, so we must raise it now.

The ‘Metro-sexual’ Delhiwallah is back to his works again

On Monday on my way to work in Delhi Metro, I saw a reasonably pretty chick when I boarded the Red Line in Kashmere Gate at 9:05 am. We traveled together till Welcome station. Before alighting, I managed to take a peek on her ID and got to know what her name was. She got down at Welcome too.

Reaching office, I got curious to know more about her. I logged on to orkut, did a name search and bingo! She was there with pictures and all. She turned out to be a techie like myself.

There was a dampener though. She put her status as ‘Married’ and ‘living with partner’. I though I missed the symbols of matrimony like the tiny spec of red on the forehead that the young and married hide in their forelocks or a wedding ring or maybe a mangalsutra.

Yesterday, I made it a point to travel the same time so that I can hope to see her again and look for the signs. She was there in very trendy casuals and without those signs that I was looking for. Yes, there was a gold ring all right on the ring finger. However, it hardly looked as a wedding ring. Maybe I haven’t seen too many wedding rings in my life.

Today, we traveled together too. She was wearing a gorgeous blouse. She apparently knows what makes her look attractive. I thought she was in her early 20s. However, a closer look today revealed the light rings under her eyes. No, she never looked on war paint before. Either she is around 25 or she is into booze. Her orkut profile says she boozes occasionally. You see, women can’t have all the joys at once. They wouldn’t have to maintain their skins more than they do only if they shaved like us guys.

I have taken substantial risk in writing this post. Maybe I should have deleted the timings. If she happens to read this, she would know who this guy is. As I have visited her profile, she would know who checked her profile recently and I have pictures! Besides that, there is hardly any rush between Kashmere Gate and Welcome in the mornings, so… ;-)

Anyway, she looked wonderful today; as always.

Yummy Chinese bestial fellatio

The Chinese are amazing human beings. They are different from the rest of the human race in ways more than just a few. From perverse practices like feet binding in the ancient times (that left entire generations of females crippled) to finding delicacies in leopard placenta, the Chinese find orgasmic pleasure in things that people from other civilizations might find weird, repulsive, and insane as well.

Chinese food has always captured the world’s fascination. Chinese are prolific cooks and what’s more, they can cook things that you wouldn’t like to even look at.

A few months back I read a Jug Suraiya food article where he discussed weird food like elephant trunk that he had in Nagaland. There he writes about how feudal Chinese had some of the weirdest dishes on their menu like a worm that grows in the cesspit of human excreta for a year that turns into the hors d'oeuvre for the guest of honour! Despite being a foodie myself who has a penchant to try out the most fanciful of non-vegetarian dishes, I found that quite ‘extraordinary’ indeed.

This gives credence to the adage that when it comes to having an appetite for food, the Chinese would perhaps not eat airplanes and helicopters in flying things and the furniture in four-legged objects. Everything else is edible for them.

Today, I bumped into this article in BBC News. It is about the dishes made out of the penises of various animals – from dogs to snakes, bulls to tigers and everything in between.

Not only there is a delicacy factor behind eating them, the Chinese believe that eating penises would increase virility! Well, Chinese placebos promising virility include crushed tiger bones, snake blood, bat pickles etc, etc.

Maybe, the Chinese are more sex-tensed and sex-obsessed than any other population on earth. If you promise them that drinking a chimp’s diarrheic shit will make the males last longer and applying it on the faces will keep the skins of females youthful, they would not think twice before going ahead with the experimentation.

A few will set up biz by buying a few chimps, sicken them and make them excrete and sell the stuff in bottles labeled –

Premium Chimpanzee Excrement for Youth and Virility. Satisfaction Guaranteed 100%.

Of Delhi Police, eunuchs, PCOs and spirited citizens

Last Saturday Aaj Tak was showing a programme titled ‘Kinnaron ka Karkhana’ or Factory of Eunuchs. That reminded me of an incident that happened on 7th of this month. On that day I accompanied a colleague friend to the railway station straight from work who was going to Patna. We took an auto-rickshaw after wetting our throats with our usual booze around 4 pm. I usually don’t drink in the afternoons. However, that day was an aberration.

Anyway, while crossing the Yamuna bridge over Vikas Marg, ITO, we spotted a white Maruti Zen with 5 passengers and a driver – the driver and one in the front and four in the back. Only the driver and a passenger in the back were males, the rest were eunuchs.

The male in the back looked heavily drugged and was unable to hold himself. He struggled to hold on to the headrest of the front seat where he was trying to find a support for his head to rest. He seemed to be in his late 20s or early 30s.

I got alarmed at once because of the horror stories of genital dismemberments and castrations of males by eunuchs that I heard many times before. While my mate and I were looking at them, they looked back and the car sped away. However, the many red lights and the traffic snarls held it up every now and then and I was able to jot down the number of the car (that I tore off around 6 pm that day).

We lost the car somewhere near the Sales Tax building opposite the ICAI building. On reaching Ajmeri Gate at the New Delhi railway station, I tried calling the police from one of the many mobile PCOs there. To my surprise, none of them allowed me to dial 100. No amount of coaxing, threatening etc would make them yield. Then I went to the PCOs on the other side of the road. Even they won’t allow me. It was around 5 pm then when we saw a Sub-Inspector of Police. We approached him and he too seemed disinterested. However, he must have guessed that we might take the matter further and took our names down and assured that he will check the matter out. When I asked him why the PCOs don’t allow calls to 100, he said it was not the case and asked us to make the call from the PCO where we were standing.

Dialing 100 for several minutes yielded no response from the other side! I tried several times but no one picked up the phone. There can be only two reasons – a) The PCO owner doctored the phone line and the call never went through (though I could hear the ring) or b) the Delhi Police was taking a prolonged afternoon siesta. SI Kunwar Singh left the place on his bike.

Then I called up Star News’ mobile number for the crime programme Sansani. The phone was ‘out of range’.

It was almost 6 pm by then. My mate had a train to catch and it was getting a bit too boring. After that incident, I’ve decided never to seek police attention even if I happen to witness a murder taking place right before my eyes. I am undecided though if I should go to the police in the event I find myself in the receiving end of crime. I don’t have much faith left, seriously.

So much for spirited citizens.

SOS: Save Team India, kick the saboteur out!

What has the Indian cricket team achieved following Greg Chappell’s appointment? Without much ado, let us take a stock of the man’s achievements so far. Since this is a post meant to criticize the man’s abilities, question his integrity with the Indian team, and motives of becoming the coach, let me first see the negatives. Of course, we shall come to the positives too, but later.

Negatives:

1. India’s best captain and one of the best ODI batsmen ever Saurav Ganguly is out because of reasons other than cricket. He scored a century in his last Test against Zimbabwe and India won the series (the first in over 20 yrs outside the subcontinent). In this process, he has antagonized not only the public but many members of the team as well.
2. Zaheer Khan, one of India’s most promising pace bowlers is not around.
3. Irfan Pathan has forgotten how to bowl those deadly outswingers and now in the team as a pinch hitter and at times specialist opener!
4. Yuvraj Singh is out of form.
5. Sehwag struggling to come out of the labyrinth as ever.
6. Dravid losing his technique, his form and his marbles too.
7. Dhoni’s fading away faster than one can imagine.
8. Humiliating ODI series defeat against the West Indies.
9. Glorious season record – 6 wins and 2 losses with 1 no result.
10. Team members turning into hapless guinea pigs in his lab of whimsical experiments.

Positives:

1. Commando training (all of 45 minutes!) in military fatigues, giving the team strength of character, Dutch courage, fighting spirit, sharpening of survival skills, endurance and lots of media publicity.
2. Entertainment on the form of making the team members play Musical Chairs to get a team slot (all in the name of ‘positive’ experiment).
3. The BCCI finally able to understand the methods of Indian coach and see merits in total disasters.
4. New soundbytes doing away with the earlier boring ones from the team management and Chappell himself. (Of course Saurav Ganguly's financial needs can be interesting to some.)
5. Reminding us all again that it was India who gave the world 0 (Zero), and be proud of it.

Despite all the above, the invitation extended to Greg by Cricket Australia to coach Australia is still valid. Of course, they can see as the whole world except the hypnotized BBCI is seeing now – Greg is doing more than a fine job in accomplishing his mission; the reason for why he is here in the first place. [I have told you about the Grand Aussie Plan before]

Greg is now saying that his experiments are paying off. (They are indeed paying off to him!) Hence, they will continue until the ICC World Cup 2007. In 168 days he will be standing before the moment of his life.

India was picking up from the last ICC World Cup in 2003 where it ended up runners up. Saurav Ganguly had the core of the team in his hands that could well be the champions in 2007. Now the head has been chopped off, the baby has been aborted. With the team in shambles, the guinea pigs still in the Greg Lab, one can only imagine what will happen to Team India when the ICC World Cup 2007 starts.

There is precious little time left to undo the damage this Aussie crook has done to Team India. The BCCI must take cognizance to the circus Greg and his joker-in-chief Rahul Dravid are doing and immediately give the Aussie saboteur the sack. [BTW, is this a mere coincidence that Greg took the team for a (farcical) commando experience just a few days before Buchanan's boot camp?]

A servile character such a Dravid is unfit to be the captain. He simply lacks what is known as – Officer-like qualities. He bats best only when he plays second fiddle to others. He is best in the team as a batsman and let him remain so. You don’t have to be the best warrior to be the best general choreographing a war. Leadership is an inherent quality, comes with the atmosphere you are brought up in. Make someone the skipper who can catch hold of an errant team member’s collar and say ‘I’ll bust your ass with the cricket bat next time…”

But, first things first. The BCCI should start typing a letter for the Aussie criminal called Greg Chappell with a touch of Aussie pedestrian vernacular that should read like – ‘Thanks for your services so far. Now piss off you pissant’.

Meanwhile, the Bongs can go ahead with Gregasura this Durga Puja.

The great Laloo Railway Myth

Almost everyone seems to be impressed these days by Laloo Prasad Yadav’s work on Indian Railways. He is not only getting accolades from all over, but this man is also not stopping them from coming in. Wait! Far stopping them from coming in and basking in the glory of ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’, he is actually patting himself in the back for what he did to bring around the so-called ‘turnaround’ in Indian Railways.

Last month, I wrote a post on this man on his scheduled lecture in the IIM-A. Well, I have to admit that my post was substandard to say the least because the tone was that of an emotional rant and the language pedestrian. However, the fact remains that I am not convinced at all whenever someone from the Indian intelligentsia say that he did a job that can be described as ‘great’. In my post I wrote;

As the Union Railway Minister, Laloo has managed to do ‘something’, but then it was just by ‘adjusting’ a few things here and there and nothing much.

I stand by what I said. The railways started making an upward turnaround in 2002-2003, before Laloo took office and the golden period for the railways was 1994-96. A few days back Subir Roy wrote an excellent piece in Business Standard to explain why Laloo’s great railway turnaround is half a myth. He talks about the ‘adjustments’ that I said Laloo made in the railways like – increasing the tonnage of the wagons that reflected in higher revenues. Subir thinks that it is Laloo’s best achievement so far. However, I would like to say that the reduction of accident rates was his best achievement. Then, isn’t railway safety a basic expectation for the rail yatri?

Now, Laloo is going for the spectacular. He is now mulling super-fast corridors as Mumbai-Pune and Bangalore-Chennai. This was going to happen! Such antics must be stopped at once. There is no way the focus should be allowed to shift from curing the diseases plaguing the Indian Railways like better provisions in railway platforms, better hygiene inside trains, ticketless travel, thuggery by TTEs, GRP etc, etc. Railway safety even today is far from satisfactory. Railway safety and security must be on the top in Laloo’s list of priorities. Then, the rampant corruption and pilferage that goes on in the transportation of raw materials and minerals like coal. A trip down the Dhanbad-Gaya, Dhanbad-Ranchi line will tell you how big the scandal is.

There are many, many issues. I may write in details with points on where the railways should be focusing in the coming days rather than in the accolades. In any case, no one should be praised for doing 70 percent of his duty.

That’s why he is there for in the first place, isn’t it?

Aaj Tak redefining yellow journalism

Last night, going back to home from work was some experience. As usual I took a bus (usually the 221 or 236) from the place where I work near Anand Vihar to Welcome metro station. After getting down my colleague and co-passenger till Rajiv Chowk found that the mobs agitating in Seelampur managed to shut down the Delhi Metro between Shastri Park to Shahadra. (Some victory of sorts for the rioters against the government?). We took another bus (because the paise-wise, rupee-foolish autowallahs were charging ridiculously exorbitant fares owing to the tense situation that prevailed in that region) to Kashmere Gate from where we took the underground. But before that, we went to the coffee-cum-soup joint as we do six days a week near the Media Mart kiosk that has a huge plasma TV on display with Aaj Tak – channel of its sponsors – on. (Oh! It is always Aaj Tak there).

Sipping hot soup and watching the images actually made both of us rather laugh. Why? Two reasons.

1. The major one was on India’s victory over the West Indies in a low scoring match. There was a huge caption saying – WI ke viruddh Bharat ka aitihasik vijay (historic win by India against the West Indies) and ’83 ki yaadein tazaa (comparing it to India’s victory over West Indies in the 1983 Prudential World Cup Final win)!! This victory equal to that? You decide. For me, it was a meaningless victory against a mediocre team by a dull team in a senseless tournament in some cricket-forsaken country.
2. The next big news was on the riots at various parts of Delhi following the enforcement of the Supreme Court’s order sealing illegal commercial establishments and constructions. It was repeatedly showing a police officer taking aim with his handgun and shooting at hundred (maybe thousands) of rioters who were pelting stones at them. Just imagine fuelling public anger like that.

Both the above items as shown in Aaj Tak was nothing short of yellow journalism, making stories out of non-issues and nothing whatsoever by simply sensationalizing the events shamelessly.

A few days back Punya Prasoon Vajpayee stopped Joginder Singh, the ex-CBI boss just as he was about to reveal something interesting (about the UAE government’s attitude that he experienced first hand trailing a terrorist) abruptly for a commercial break. Then he never came back to the subject at all (though he promised that he would). It felt as if Aaj Tak robbed me of the information and right/pleasure of knowing something. Then a few days back when Indian passengers were de-boarded from a Northwest flight in Amsterdam in Holland after turning the plane back over Germany, this Vajpayee guy was 'educating' his audience that Amsterdam was in Germany!

This is shameful journalism with gallons of yellow paint thrown in. This is 10/10 for Aaj Tak.

Justice Pramod Kode: Reason why you can expect fair verdicts in the 1993 Mumbai bomb blast case

The Business Standard carried out an article by Makarand Gadgil on Justice Pramod Kode, the designated judge of the TADA court trying the 191 accused in the Mumbai bomb blast case in 1993. The article made very refreshing read as it focused on the judge’s career, his focus on the case and his humane side.

Forget about allowing Sanjay Dutt to travel abroad for shooting, the fact that moved me was that he understood the small desires of a human being, the emotions etc. He allowed a key accused in the case to attend his mother’s funeral and during the last Cricket World Cup in 2003, he ordered the installation of TV sets in one of the most sensitive wards of the jail after some inmates expressed a desire to watch the matches.

Not only this, in order to complete the trial in quick time, he didn’t take a single day’s leave. Given the enormity of the task, it is no less than a miracle that it took just 13 years to complete the trial.

Given the state of affairs in trial courts and the judges in the lower courts in India, people like Justice Kode are holding the faith of the public in getting fair justice and expect to be treated as humans by the system.

When all the verdicts come out and sentencing/acquittals are done with, we can safely say that the judge gave it all. One can’t question the fairness of it at all.

Three cheers to Justice Pramod Kode, and Business Standard for bringing it out.

What did the Pope say was wrong?

Pope Benedict XVI created much furor within the Muslim community with his speech quoting the Byzantine Christian emperor Manuel II Palaiologos in which he said;

Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.

Muhammad was a shrewd leader. His new religion is extensively taken from Judaism which preceded Christianity – the religion which was prevalent and dominating during that time, and conveniently recognizing (read using) Jesus Christ as a true prophet so that the Christians can be swayed to believe him. Then the prophet’s Koran came into being – a slick, well-composed book with modern (w.r.t. the times then) thoughts, laws and a few new things thrown in, not to mention incorporation of verses justifying violent campaigns in the name of safeguarding faith in the name of god.

Muhammad was more of a political and military leader than a religious one. He used religion to instill the fear of wrath of god and using the fear of god, he projected himself as his last and final prophet whose words were god’s own words. It was the mind of a genius that eventually fulfilled most of his political and military ambitions.

Muhammad indeed brought in some fresh thoughts, some of which are relevant even now in the 21st Century. He was a progressive thinker. However, a major chunk of whatever Muhammad brought was borrowed from existing practices (remember how Moses and Jesus remained prophets in the Koran). Therefore, Manuel, though not entirely correct, was indeed correct on most counts that he wanted to say then, and now what the Pope quoted.

Ironically, the fatwas and the reactions that followed in the Islamic countries and within the Muslim communities worldwide actually second what Manuel said. They are live proofs that in Islam today we can only find things only evil and inhuman. And, I am not talking about things like this, this, this, this, this and…

Niche blogging: What is it anyway?

If you thought that niche blogs are like the beautiful gal above, you are wrong. As the word beautiful has become too general, she can no longer be called just a beautiful gal. Is she intelligent? Does she have a good figure? is she a good orator? Does she look good in a swimsuit? Does she look good when she walks? Is she photogenic? Is she this? Is she that... So the word beautiful is not a niche by itself, it is way too general. Similarly, niche blogs of 2004-2005 have no longer remained niche anymore.

For example, if you are a health blogger and blog about the health and fitness, diseases and medicines you are no longer a niche blogger. A ‘niche’ blog would have been only either on fitness, diseases or medicines; only then, you would be a niche blogger.

Nah! Hang on; hang on – not so fast. The above three separate blogs on body wouldn’t get the tag of a niche health blog either. In fact, if your blog is dedicated only on one part of the whole body, like say the left ear (not the right one; mind you) or only on 500 mg paracetamol tablets only then it can be honored as a niche blog. A blog on contraceptives wouldn’t be niche enough unless it is entirely dedicated to condoms, or for that matter the pill.

One day there would be no more subjects left to ‘niche blog’ upon. That will mean that thousands would be blogging on one ‘niche’ subject. Then the word niche would stand diluted unless re-concentrated with new definition.

Ah! It’s getting finer and finer, isn’t it?

September 11: How special it is?

The eleventh day of the ninth month of the Gregorian calendar or simply September 11 is special in more ways than one. Well, one can argue that other dates, you take your pick, will be just as special if not for the incident that shook the world five years ago.

However, I would like to say that notwithstanding the September 11 incident with the reputation, it is indeed a more special day than most of the 365 days (366 in leap years) in the calendar. Why? Well, check some the events that happened this day in history.

*** Ernest L. Martin, the famous archaeologist suggested that Jesus was born on September 11 in 3 BC when the moon moved in a rare pattern with Venus generating the Star of Bethlehem.

*** Hope Diamond was sensationally stolen along with other crown jewels in 1792.

*** Parliament of the World’s Religions began this date in 1893 in Chicago, which is remembered for Swami Vivekananda’s famous speech that began with ‘Sisters and brothers of America’ that triggered wild applause.

*** Mahatma Gandhi started his famous Satyagraha or Non-Violence movement today exactly one hundred years back in 1906 eventually pulling down the British Empire.

*** Hijackers crash planes in the WTC twin towers, Pentagon and Shanksville in Pennsylvania.

Another small incident happened on September 11, 2000 that caught my attention. It was about a woman’s house being burnt down by a crazy guy whom the woman met a few days back over the Internet. The incident happened in a town called Northam in Western Australia, an hour’s drive from Perth. If I remember correctly, Hutt Street was the location where it happened. If you have any further information about the incident, please share. It showed how dangerous it was to solicit for lovers on the net. You never know what lies ahead.

Pak’s Osama song

Yesterday, we’re ready to forgive;
Today, we’ve changed our minds,
Let’s all sing now;
We’ll arrest citizen Osama after all.

9/11 Amnesty: Pakistan ready to let Osama go

I read this piece of news with mixed emotions. Well, mixed were the emotions because I was surprised, then I was not surprised; I was excited, I felt like a fool being excited; and then I was amused.

Pakistan is ready to forgive Osama if he decides to behave like ‘peaceful citizen’ and not like a … (What exactly do the Pakistanis think of him anyway?)

As the 5th Anniversary of the September 11 attacks is approaching, the Pakistanis seem to be in festive mood and might, just might, release a few jailed … well, whatever like Ahmed Omar Saeed Sheikh.

Anyway, the latest is that Major General Shaukat Sultan Khan, press secretary to Pakistan's President Pervez Musharraf who made this remark over a telephonic interview with ABC has denied it when being asked over the phone by Rediff.com.

Elite blogger missing

Remember the 3rd Delhi Bloggers Meet in November last year and the ‘elite’ blogger Tarun Pall (or TTG)? If you are into blogging for sometime, this name should not have escaped your notice. There had been quite a fiasco then, isn’t it? It was an absolute delight to watch the events from the sidelines as they were happening following the article in Delhi Times (the page is no longer available, but thanks to Google cache, you can still find it).

Where is TTG now? I knew he migrated from Blogger to Wordpress (which was an excellent move) but his blog is nowhere to be found. His old blog on Blogger has changed and now seems to me as an attempt to earn some AdSense money from soccer rankings. Nothing wrong in that, rather I would say excellent idea indeed. However, what has happened to his Wordpress blog? The message that I got is that TTG has decided to delete his account and the content is no longer available.

I noticed that despite his ‘death’, TTG continues to live in the blogrolls of many.

Vande Mataram Controversy: It is Nationalism vs. Nation of Islam

There is a big hullabaloo these days over ‘compelling’ Muslim pupils in schools including state-funded Muslim schools to sing Vande Mataram, India’s National Song to commemorate the song's centenary on September 07. Many Muslims have taken this as anti-Islam, which has hardly come as a surprise to me.



The Muslims regard their religion as a nation – Nation of Islam (not the US separatist political party founded by Wallace Fard Muhammad in 1930) to be more precise. A nation sans boundaries where there is no place for nationalism or patriotism when it comes to the countries they live in. For them, they are a nation without any boundaries, fellow Muslims are fellow citizens, the Koran is their constitution and they cannot show allegiance to any other nation.

For once, I think that this time the Indian Right (read BJP and Shiv Sena) is right. The Nation of Islam is just a fantasy where as India is a reality. If this current trend of migration to the Radical Islamic School of Thought is not curtailed, I am afraid this will most certainly encourage civil disobedience by Muslim zealots and encourage anti-national activism. We are already seeing a substantial increase in the later here these days.

The Shahi Imam of Delhi Jama Masjid Syed Ahmad Bukhari is a fanatic, a dangerous man to remain within the boundaries of the Indian Union. If he cannot follow the writ of the country and is allergic to accept parts of the Constitution of India or show allegiance to the Indian nationalism, he must be declared a persona non grata by the government at once. I would also like him to face the cases in various states like Bihar where he is wanted for criminal activities. Like the proverbial dog’s tail, he is never going to change his mindset, come what may.

Vande Mataram is the momentary excuse to defy the country’s collective wishes. The meaning is much deeper. It means any country’s individual laws, pride, identity etc, just as Emir Osama bin Laden is preaching today, should not bind Muslims.

The Muslims in India have special laws. The Shah Bano case made Rajiv Gandhi commit one of the most despicable acts of doctoring the Constitution. Muslim men can also enjoy polygamy (they can take up to four wives). They have personal law boards and fatwas mean more than national laws.

Would the Muslims who support such things as above be open to the idea that when it comes to dealing with Muslim criminals they are tried under the Shariat laws? If yes, we can see a Muslim thief’s hand chopped off, a Muslim rapist flogged in public and executed, an adulterer stoned to death etc.

I would rather suggest the above happens, only then the zealots and the anti-nationals like Bukhari would know that real pleasures lie on the other side of the fence and radical Islam is dull and boring unless you have guns and rocket launchers to toy around with like the Taliban.

Muslims must rise and take this as the final opportunity to show allegiance to the country and show that India’s pride is their pride if they are interested to wash the stigma of being perpetually dogmatic and anti-nationals.

Some may believe that they have nothing to prove (which is what I believe too), but they must not forget that their cause has been made much weaker and their faith hijacked by scoundrels like Bukhari.

Vande Mataram!

Aussies pay tribute to Steve Irwin, vandalize Wikipedia stingray page

The Aussies have gone berserk. They just can’t accept that their hero (he was a world hero) Steve Irwin has been killed by a lowly stingray.

So what they are doing? Well, they have attacked the Wikipedia page on stingray. The page has been vandalized causing the page to be locked for editing by new or anonymous users.

What a way to pay tribute to the departed soul. Only the Aussies are capable of such stupidity.

Even the Steve Irwin page is vandalized!

The Wikipedia page on stingray

The page edit History

Check the user Talk here

My Top 5 Steve Irwin moments

I am in a state of shock now. I can’t believe that my favourite, favourite naturalist and TV personality Steve ‘The Crocodile Hunter’ Irwin is no more. I read the news just now. He died today doing what he did best, chasing his life’s passion of being with nature and wildlife. The stingray that killed him would never know how much Steve did for the cause of conservation and wildlife.

Steve single-handedly turned public opinion towards nature conservation and preservation of wildlife all around the world right from Australia to Asia to America.

My top 5 Steve Irwin moments are:

• His taking over of Queensland Reptile and Fauna Park and running it as Australia Zoo in 1991.
• Marriage to Terri in 1992 – an equally motivated and champion naturalist.
• The Crocodile Hunter television series that changed how people looked at nature and wildlife.
• When he carried his infant son Bob within a meter of a huge crocodile in 1992. The act almost threatened him with legal actions following a huge public outcry accusing him of child abuse.However, he maintained that the child was never in danger and his wife supported him too.
• His death today by a stingray while on an underwater shoot! Fatal attacks by stingrays are virtually unheard of, so for an expert like Steve Irwin to get killed by a stingray is amazingly surprising for me.

My top 5 Steve Irwin television moments are:

5. His trip to the bazaars of Taiwan where animal products are sold as medicine and the manner which he explained the horror behind it without making it seem very bad. Maybe he did it knowing that children would be affected if he started narrating the pain and the horror those animals have to go through. In the same time, he got his message through the adults. He probably risked personal safety filming those shops.

4. Getting his son Bob that close to the croc while feeding it a dead chicken. Phew!

3. Getting too close to a wild Asiatic elephant in Thailand in the dense jungle groove. He knew that the elephant could outrun him in the groove and trample him in no time. He was completely exposed; and there were two of them there!

2. All his croc-wrestling moments. All of them. I can’t pick up one here.

1. This is the best. Being ‘kissed’ by a Fierce Snake regarded as the most venomous (in terms of potency) of all land snakes in the world. The scene left me breathless!

We need more Steves in this world.

Of Bongs, demons and Aussies

The Kumartuli artists are busy now. In fact, they are very, very busy. Durga Puja less than a month away and the famed idol artists are the ones who are working overtime these days.

Every year, I keep an eye on who will turn out to be the demon god Mahisasura for the year. Mahisasura took forms of notorious executed and ‘encountered’ criminals like Dhananjoy Chatterjee and Veerappan. The form is usually reserved for the villain-in-focus of the year.

No wonder, this year, the undisputed villain of the year is the Aussie saboteur Greg Chappell for getting one of Bengal’s brightest sons Saurav Ganguly out of the team. The Deshabandhu Road Sarbojanin Durgotsab ordered that the idol of Mahisasura be modeled on India’s Aussie coach.

However, the Kolkata police stepped in to put a dampener. They have issued orders to the artisans that they just can’t do it. The artisans meanwhile are crying foul. They believe it is like interfering with their artistic freedom.

Why would the police interfere? What a shame, isn’t it? The Bongs don’t deserve to be robbed of such fun especially during their biggest festival.

A special thanks to dhoomketu, because it was in his post I got the news and the picture.

Adieu Andre

I first saw Andre Agassi’s first full game in 1988 US Open semi-finals against my then favourite Ivan Lendl. Andre had his hair dyed blond and wore denim shorts during the match that he lost in straight sets. It never occurred to be that he would eventually turn out to be one of the legends of the game.

His retirement yesterday after over two decades of entertaining tennis fans made my heart heavy. I wanted him to win, at least go out as the great Pete Sampras with a Grand Slam trophy in his hands. Alas, the backache and Benjamin Becker was too much for him. However, he didn’t go out with a whimper. The 5-7 7-6 (7-4) 4-6 5-7 defeat is a sign that he gave it all.

I grew up watching Andre Agassi and Sachin Tendulkar. I will always remember Andre for his denim shorts in the 1988 US Open, his hair, his colourful getup in the tournaments, his first Grand Slam – the Wimbledon win, his great matches with great rival and friend Pete Sampras, his inevitable wins against Boris Becker, his marriage with Steffi Graf, his tears and his smiles. Andre Agassi was perhaps the most well-behaved player on the circuit. With him gone now, will we ever see another player winning all the four Grand Slams? Can Roger Federer ever win the French Open?

Thank you Andre for entertaining us all these years. You have always been a treat to watch and one of my all-time favourites. Wish you and your family all the best for your life ahead.

Bootleggers: In dry-day service of humankind

You always run out of booze when you think you just started enjoying the feeling.

Many brothers (and sisters) who love their booze would agree to the above statement. And when your bottle runs dry, it is usually the curfew time for wine shops around. So what do you do? Run to your friendly bootlegger, he will always be there to enhance your spirits for a few extra bucks.

In Delhi, bootleggers are flourishing, while the government is losing. The archaic moral policies of the Delhi government that include shutting down of wine shops sharp at 10 pm and uncountable dry-days means that with every visit to my favourite bootlegger, my love for him increases.

Last night was such an incident. The booze ran out at 11 pm just as the small party was warming up. We scooted to our familiar Shastri ka dukan in Chowkhandi (near Tilak Nagar - Subhash Nagar) in West Delhi from my flat near District Center in Janakpuri.

The Shastri was there – a muscular man in his 30s with a mane that will turn many females green. And I had my bottles. Life would be so dull and boring like the Delhi government without people like him.

Thanks for being there friend.

Random thoughts on religion and software

First, this is the headline that got left behind: Open Source religion – a short proposal.

Okay, I have been writing a lot (no links due to obvious factor of anonymity) on software and of late more on pros and cons of Open Source and proprietary software. Then here, I had been writing on Hitler and religious fanaticism (as you might have chanced upon). This has resulted in the concoction of a cocktail of thoughts and I started thinking how religion is like software today.

Islam is to religions what Microsoft is to software - predefined, and with proprietary verses.

Islam behaves like Microsoft as well – monopolistic and radical. There is little or no opportunity to work upon, modify and enhance the fundamentals. The whole operating system of Islam is the Koran - just like the Windows OS. You have everything on it. The mullahs define it and the laymen follow it blindly just like Microsoft gives its customers a finished product that does almost everything he wants his OS to do. It is very difficult to build add-ons or extensions unless Microsoft is literally forced to part with its source code.

Sufism was what I would term as Islam Lite. It flourished in the middle ages, but then the monopolistic practices of mainstream Islam killed it.

Compare that to say Firefox, god bless this browser. You can develop and users can add any number of extensions to Firefox.

Two more things on that:

i) Islam in religions is therefore like Microsoft in software biz – has a good popular finished product (read Windows OS) but without any scope for outside enhancement, modification, customization outside MS-set parameters.
ii) Modified Islam – like the Ahmadiyyas or the Imailis are often not recognized by mainstream Islam and look upon them as illegal and cracked versions of the main OS which was developed back in the 7th century.

Similarly, Roman Catholicism and Judaism are like proprietary software as well.

Hinduism on the other hand can be likened to true Open Source software. You have all the freedom to develop, change, modify, or even start new extensions based on the fundamental principals. There are hundreds of streams, cults, sub-faiths, off-shoot religions etc. You too can start your own cult and it would be perfectly accepted as a part of mainstream Hinduism. Not only that, with a little bit of 'kernel programming' with new philosophies, ideas and thoughts, you can start an entirely new religion – like Sikhism, Jainism or Buddhism.

Other variants of Christianity too have similar Open Source qualities.

To end: I am looking forward to the days of open source religion – like Firefox, extensions including.

If you happen to read this, do let me know about your thoughts. Feel free to modify, enhance or edit whatever I said here in your comments. It would be very interesting to hear your views.

The Guru will be back soon. Au revoir.

Update: A friend has pointed out this migration from proprietary to Open Source.